Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Boys-Men-Husbands

Today has been quite the roller coaster for me emotionally but I am thankful when a wave of the Holy Spirit overcomes me. This week Gabe and I are painting and preparing our new apt to move in on Saturday. So I am feeling slightly pinched the last few days and normally I would become filled with anger, but this time it feels different. So two posts or so ago I posted about how I am going to start praying that God would make me weak in him and that I will rejoice in weakness and the feeling of loosing it. Today I walked into work and could just feel the emotions and at first was frustrated and angry because I tend to loose sight of a purpose for working where I do at times.

At work I began praying-My worth is not found in having a job that I feel like I accomplish something, my worth is not found in having something to do or being busy, and my worth is not found in moping around wishing God would change my circumstances. At work I went to the bathroom and could feel the stockpile of tears waiting to pour over. At lunch sometimes I will go and read or pray and today people were gone for lunch so I went out to my car and started praying and thanking God.

I have been asking God to show me more of what it means to love others and what his love looks like and I think today I really realized that my husband is the perfect example of God's love. Our first year of marriage consisted of being angry and frustrated because I did not think Gabe was good enough or looked enough like Jesus, but God and Gabe have shown me grace in waiting for Abba to open my eyes. Today I can feel the glimpse and freedom of God opening my eyes to the amazing gift he has given me. I have recently recieved prayer about sharing with the women that God has given me how important it is to have and set high standards for the men they date/will marry. I was encouraged to share about Gabe and how Gabe is and why the women in our church should seek after men like Gabe. :)

My husband loves me so much, he loves me when I spit in his face(not literally), when I don't understand, when I don't know how to communicate. He loves me amidst my pride, selfishness, and blindness. Gabe loves me enough to challenge me in what God calls me to. He has taught me how important the mother of his children will be and his desire for his wife( ie me)to stay home and care for our children, he loves me enough to believe that God will and has healed me and released me from the lies of depression, he has taught me how to communicate and is slowly teaching me how to make it a priority to care for our home(I still struggle in this area daily).

Ladies the men you seek after should draw you closer to Jesus, they should have a strong convictions to the things of the word(purity, being a part of a church body, dialy time with God). I am so thankful for Gabe's strong conviction to purity before marriage and each day I see others struggling I am more thankful. Are the men you are seeking after Godly men? Are you seeking after God or a man??? Don't let the distractions and things of this world lie to you that you don't have a desire for things of the word. Don't let the world set standards for the man you seek after-have Godly/high standards and don't settle for someone just because you have cuaght there eye. Here is a blog by a man that has some amazing insight about what the men should look like that we seek after. (http://laneannmiller.blogspot.com/2010/05/scars.html) This man's wife has recently died from cancer.

I think my husband is the greatest teacher of love that God could have given me and I believe actually feel it in my heart and know that Gabe is hand picked for me. He sharpens me, he makes me look more like Jesus. Please don't set low standards because you haven't seen a godly man recently he will bring one/make one for you if that is his plan for your life. I also think some of you already have some godly men but you treat them like trash on the side of the road because you are to busy looking at yourself/ I know I was!! Please seek after God's heart for your purpose!!

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