His Will

Hello everyone..... oh how I have missed blogging, but we have been busy moving into our new aptartment. As soon as we get internet there I will post some pictures of our new place and our finished bed that Gabe made, and the headboard I made. We have had a pretty busy two weeks with packing and traveling and then moving this last Saturday. I am thankful we are officially all moved in but at times the adjusting can be harder than the moving and that is the case for me right now. This whole week I have been thinking about what I want to blog about, you know since I can't blog anytime I wanted too. :)

Anyway In one of my earlier posts I said I was reading the book "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. Well on Tuesday I spent some more time reading one of the chapters called Presenting Ourselves to God. I loved this chapter it talks about things that I have been praying that God would do in many of the women that I have relationship with through church and that he would continue doing in my life.

I will do my best to make my struggles and the things I am learning from the book coincide. As a follower of Jesus I think each day we have to choose to submit to his will daily and give up our desires for our life. Well for me, moving into this new apt. God is forcing me to move out of my will for a perfectly peaceful apt with no problems and no difficult people. I don't think I would be alive if that was the case. The apt we have moved into kind of fell into our lap and seemed to be perfect. The location is in a part of town that isn't exactly sought after but Gabe and I have in a round about way felt called to live in an area where "Normal" people do not want to live or would feel safe. This location is also near our church and apart of a neighborhood we deliver food to for people in need. Well moving in hasn't exactly been easy, many of our appliances are not working correctly or are flat out broken and God has placed some special neighbors in our lives that are much different than I have ever lived with.

Last night I wanted to quit, sometimes I just scream in my head and ask God to explain.I ask him to show me what he wants to teach me and ultimately realize that I am weak and I do not see what is best for God and his glory. I am only looking at what is comfortable for me. Am I and are you willing to do whatever God requires? Right now I am praying that God would humble me and put love in my heart for my neighbors and where he has placed me. So the book, The chapter I just read talks about submitting my life to God's will and that if I am going to say I am giving my life to the Lord I have to give all of it. I can't hold onto a part of it and expect God to use all of it, because I haven't given him my will. Some of the questions that Watchman Nee asks are "Are you willing to do God's will, what he chooses for you not what I choose for myself?" "Does all your desire in life center on his will?"

"God will not let anything of ourselves remain" watchman Nee, this quote has to be the best thing after going through a time of purging by God of things out of my life, but is seemingly torturious as you go through them. I can not continue to let my self-assertive will take over and destroy the glory that God deserves. "We cannot expect the Lord to live out his life in us if we do not give him our lives in which to live."by watchman nee. Okay so knife to the heart, am I standing in the way of God moving in my attitude about our new apt. Somedays I feel inadequate, but I am starting to think that is the best place for me to be inadequate and humble and there is not mistaking God's complete hand in his plan. I have no idea or can even comprehend God's greatness in teaching me things through the circumstances in my life but I am trying to pray that God would change my focus from being focused on what is going wrong, and how my plan isn't his plan, and thinking God's plan is faulty. God's plan is not Faulty!!!! Do you think his plan currently for your life is faulty?

This chapter in "The Normal Christian Life" has also really brought me to prayer for many of the women that I get to have a relationship with through church. This chapter has given me things to pray for these women about making decisions about choosing to stay here in Lafayette for the church, those wrestling with what it looks like to be stay at home mom's and God putting that desire in you, and for those of you who think God isn't using you or isn't going to use you. God does not think you or your life is mediocre, Nor should you be content with being mediocre. People should think you are crazy and radical because you love Jesus so much and your life looks so different than the worlds. Are you willing to give your life to his mission-for him to be glorfied!!!! Please don't try and hang onto your life because the future looks daunting. Fear only paralyzes us. GOD WILL CHANGE ALL OF OUR HEARTS TO BE FOCUSED ON HIM.