Analyzing

I have been learning a great deal about self-analyzing recently and I have felt completely blown away by not seeing this before but am thankful none the less that I am seeing now. At Summer Conference a wise lady told me you are wasting to much time analyzing yourself, others, and fabricating situations in your head that have not and probably will never happen. I was almost completely knocked over in being made aware by someone else how much I analyze. I have known that I do but have never known what to do with it or if it is getting in the way of Jesus doing his business. I also have had a chance to read another chapter in my book "The Normal Christian Life". I have missed reading it, it has been at least a month by now. When I picked it up the chapter happened to be on you know what, Analyzing and depending on myself/my knowledge to live.

I am going to attempt to explain this where it makes sense. Let's start with Psalm 139:23 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." Here Watchman explains that here, the writer is saying Search me O God, not I search myself. Analyzing is wasted effort searching ourselves for our sin, blindness, and where we are wrong. This verse tells us to ask God to search us, Light can only come from Father God. God's light can only be shown where it is admitted. Analyzing is effort and an attempt to explain according to our old selves before we have become a living disciple of Jesus. So those of us....ie me that are followers of Jesus and choose to continue to analyze are attempting to use my understanding and my worldly efforts to shine light in the spiritual realm. My attempts are mere human attempts which will only bring glory to man/or myself. Self Analyzing can lead us to think that we are right/healthy or that we don't need Jesus in an area, hah I laugh at myself daily for thinking those exact thoughts. Nee points out that this is pride....it is pride when we think we are right and do not need God's light/hand to shine or touch an area. Or I spend my time analyzing a situation to death(depending on myself and my own understanding instead of turning to God).

This rocks my world, my entire 24 years of living so far. I have spent most of my life as much as I can remember analyzing and understanding according to my minds ability. Which is why I really hated school. I have been thinking all wrong.... I don't even know what the next thing to do is or how to begin ridding my life of this except to ask more of God's light to come and be present. "No sight ever came by feeling or analyzing. Sight only comes by the Light of God coming in; and when it has come there is no longer a need to ask if something is right or wrong because we already know." Watchman Nee.

I have been spending an insane amount of time depending on myself and my own understanding, God is the only light, his word. I have no idea what to ask you except are you self-analyzing? I have been. I think I need to start asking God to light my path, to shed light into my mind, thoughts, and process of thinking. If you would like an entire copy of the chapter in my book I can copy it for you.

I have really found that by analyzing I make assumptions about people and how they view me. I put emotions on people towards me that they never displayed, and I walk around depending on how I felt in a situation towards a person and then evaluating if the situation/interaction was good or not. It is like I have had my mind locked in a dark black box for awhile with a very skewed understanding of God, this world, and the people in it, and now the lid is being lifted.